Tag: sadness

An unnecessary explanation!

Yeah, I am a kind of difficult person to be with!  I cannot smile.  I cannot chatter on some nonsensical xyz subject for hours.  I cannot make you smile and I cannot talk to you for hours unless we are discussing on some serious subject.  I cannot be light.  I have lived for years with a habit of being serious; I cannot bring a smile on my face however I try unless I am with you.  This is what I am!  Yes, I know this is not a good way to live life.  If I am really such, I must change myself.  I must learn to make myself happy.  I must learn to make my surrounding happy, or at least try not to make it sad!

I know you will disapprove almost everything that I wrote above.  If I say I am a kind of difficult person to be with, you would say “I had never been so comfortable with anyone.”  If I say I cannot smile, you would say “I like it the most when I see a kid-like smile on your face.”  If I say I cannot be light, you would remind me of some study circle or tum hi dekho na moment.

And I must agree each of you argument is true.  I had never been such happy.  I had never been so smiley.  I had never been so complete.  At this very moment when I am typing this, I am happy, really happy, from the core to crust.  And this is not a momentary feeling; I am happy at heart.  In fact, I do not need to give you such a long explanation, because you know, and you only know, how happy I am!  Just a while ago, I tweeted jaata nahi ye noor hai – I meant it, because the feeling of this noor, of you being with me, never let me go sad for long.

Oh 🙂 I think I have given more than enough of explanation.  And thanks you provided me some subject to write today; I was a kind of puzzled about what to write.  So if you are reading this, just read it and let it go!  If you can have momentary feelings, I can definitely have them.

Zindagi hai…

Life has gotten such volatile. Here I stop taking breath; there you skip a heartbeat. This is again the same situation whenever I sit with a blank paper (or blank screen). Sometimes I have a lot in my mind and words just don’t come out. The other times, I sit almost blank. This time, I am somewhere in between those two situations; rather, I know not where I stand. So, the best way is to start typing and go on as you go!

Hmm! About half an hour passed since I wrote the above paragraph. The situations are so chaotic that won’t let me to sit still at a place for much time. I can’t blame anyone else. I can’t blame anyone else for the mess that I have created. So happy I was just a while ago – singing dhinka chika and all – doing all the crazy stuff that I would never do in sanity. And then? Everything can’t be published! Imagine a guy like me slapping a 2-year-old or beating a person who is as free as me to live!

Okays 🙂 The tamasha is on hold now and I am happy again. I have to find my happiness in such pieces. “Qatra qatra milti hai, qatra qatra jeene do, zindagi hain…!”

Once again okays 🙂 Let’s move to next topic! How wonderful it feels na to think that someone cares for you! It does not mean that you should make that person worry about your safety, but still… Hmm 😦 no worth thinking about past! Life should walk with the present moving towards the future… however steep the ways are, we need to move…the deep valleys on each side, the fear of falling back with each foot put forth, discontent with the present, and hopes from the future…

One more okays 😐 I don’t know how many okays are still to come! At least, till I am extremely sleepy! So let’s move towards next topic. Yesterday evening was a crazy one and the monsoon showered for the first time this year in Nagpur. Water pooled everywhere and I had a wonderful wonderful ride in the rain. Came back such drenched, had shaving and haircut with totally wet clothes, had ice-cream and all 🙂 That’s another crazy thing! Can you imagine of me doing such crazy things? It’s me! It’s me! (I don’t know who was he in the second para from above).

Oh, I’m getting bored now just sitting like this in front of PC. Chhodo naa yaar 🙂 Life hain… and I am really happy with my life, really! I have no reason to lie. I have pretended to be happy for years, just to make a show that I am happy, then now if I am, why should I pretend as if I am not!

Okays (and hope this is a final one), I am going to end this post… damn it.. why should I end it.. I am going to type all the night!