Posts Tagged ‘random thoughts’

How should one rate his day?

October 7, 2013

How should one rate his day? Like a day that starts on a “not-bad” note and from there goes to pretty good. You finish the day in high spirits, go to bath and have a hot shower. While you are feeling motivated – feelingg like going out and eat something, like buying some new books and find time to read them, like starting a new life again – something happens and you let everything go ruined – for reasons not clear to you – or say clear to you only.

How should one rate his day?

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I deserve you, I do!

January 30, 2012

I have not been writing these days.  My computer has caught a virus and would need a cleanup.  Also, life is going too much tumultous on the personal front, so I need to keep up with everything and also to maintain a smile.

I don’t have too much to write tonight.  I am writing this post from a pubilc computer; it does not give the comfort of the personal one.  I’ll again have to get a new setup, again a new installation of Windows Live Writer, again a template dummy post to all my subscribers, I apologize for that in advance.

In the meanwhile, I am keeping myself in-touch as much as I can with my cellphone browser.  You can always check me on Twitter.

I am running out of life, and I am living it.  I want to live it full.  I have a right to pursue happiness, happiness that for now just allures me from afar, sometimes from a bit closer.

Yeah, I’m again going random–you say I need to keep a check on myself, I go random more often than I should.  I don’t know how should I keep myself on track.  I’m running out of life, and I want to live it.

And I want to live it, because I deserve to live–I deserve much more than I have now, I deserve you, I do!

Can I ever get out of towel?

October 10, 2011

This is not a post-a-day post.  I would write it even if I were not on a post-a-day mission.  This is why I had started this blog — The Blog of Reflections — to catch such of my moods, the times when I am lost somewhere, somewhere in or around me, or you, or don’t know where!

I should really take some classes on how to live life.  At this moment, I should have been singing Alvida Alvida loudly with Kailash Kher; I am instead scratching this post lowering the volume of my speakers.

Yesterday, as I was coming back from Reshimbag ground, a 30-something-year-old guy was arguing loudly with his companion on some stupid subject; it was all going in English (so uncommon on Indian streets).  They were apparently drunk, so steamed up, arguing with passionate hand movements, loud voices, a perfect drama.  I sat down on footpath and watched them fighting for long until some other guy came and took them away.  I got up and started walking back to home.

There was some van standing outside the bar.  They were offloading the wine packs from it.  Bottles of different shapes and sizes and colors.  People were coming in and out of the bar.  How lively they seemed!  I cannot even think of drinking, yaaack!  But then why don’t I look as happy as they d0?

Can I ever go out of towel?

Can I ever get out of towel?

I came on main street.  Some procession was going on, Durga immersion (don’t know how it came after Vijaya Dashmi)!  Really loud loudspeakers, heatingly fast drums, some bizarre steel-plate-like instruments making loud cymbal-like noise–mischievously tickling to the eardrums!  Everything so perfect to make you dance, move on the beats.  I stopped.  Watched the procession going, the drummers beating the drums synchronously, in high passion, all in sweats, dhan dhana dhan dhan, guys and girls dancing, playing fugadi–and me–I can’t even dance, not because I have two left legs, but because I don’t have the heart that one needs to dance.  For a moment, I felt I should go and just move, just move as bizarre as I can, that I should forget myself, forget the weight my soul needs to bear 24×7.  I didn’t do that.  I just reclined back to a car parked there and watched the dance with a calm that would suite only to an unrelated funeral.

I want to forget this stuff.  I want to forget what I am; in fact, I need to forget that I am, that I exist.  And just and enjoy the life, the breath going deep in my spastic lungs, the breath coming out of my nostrils.  I want to go out naked on the road when it is still dawn and feel the cool breeze tickling my senses.  I want to go out and sing loud without damn caring about what the next guy will think.  I want to go at some deep dark place and make a loud cry until I lose my sane.

Hmm, enough with impotent thinking–I know I can’t get out of towel even in the bathroom.

Sheer randomness!

August 26, 2011

This is my blog. This means that I should write here something. I know, no one reads, but that’s their problem. This is my blog, and I should write on this. May be it is not that important, because I am not a writer. Or I am nothing. I must not write. As I start writing, I go random. This is not good. Better to sleep. What should I read? Oh, we were talking about writing, not reading! I went out of focus, I am sorry!!

By the way, I think I should start writing on Ghalibana again, I haven’t written there anything for a long time. Let’s see!!

And I want to gain B (three) kg weight!!

A Random Evening at Reshimbag Ground

July 2, 2011

I want to write something today! Write just something that would fill a complete page, because a full-page transcript looks good! I have no other reason to write, why should I kill time in such a nasty job? This is a Saturday night, a night before a long-awaited weekly holiday, and I can get good sleep tonight without thinking a damn about getting up tomorrow morning!

Yes, so as Ernest Hemingway advised, keep the first paragraph small–going good! Shall I fill this page with spaces? It won’t look good. I want to write, and write a complete page, because it looks good!

So as I was on the Reshimbag Ground, the lawn was nice, lush green! What irritated me were the red ants crawling everywhere! It seemed they are irritating even in my ears, like I’m a giant elephant with huge broad ears and a silly ant irritating me.

An Evening at Reshimbag Ground

People are just people, we can’t blame them for being so, but I was happy. Why should I think about the two guys sitting next to me who were smoking? And an uncle there was training his wife to ride a Scooty. It was a nice evening and I had a nice time there.

Did you find me out of stream? Out of flow? Writing just for the sake of writing? Because I am so! Or shall I write about the last night, which I spent almost homeless?

Okay! I should write nothing and go to sleep! This is Saturday night, tomorrow is Sunday!

I don’t know! I know it too!

June 8, 2011

Just reached home! Yet even to settle down and had a demand to go bazaar; it’s Wednesday! Leave it na yaar, why to think about things again and again?

My today’s song was yeh aankhein dekh kar hum saari duniya bhool jaate hai..! I haven’t heard it in long time, don’t know how I recalled it today. I was at work, not quite in the best mood, and suddenly I found myself humming this beautifully romantic song. Googled all the background info (I don’t know why I can’t enjoy songs without knowing who wrote it, who composed, who sung it, etc. I never bother on whom it is screened). I had been humming it all the day and also got it downloaded in the evening.

Why I am writing all this stuff? But the song is really beautiful, it does not matter that what’s going to happen with me! What matters then? I don’t know! I don’t know!! I don’t know!!!

Hmm! It’s not so. I know what is important to me. I am working towards it. I get weak sometimes, but it does not mean that I don’t value my goal. It is the most important thing in my life (hmm, this is called trying to think positively)! Cya 🙂

Just another Saturday evening…

April 16, 2011

Deleting all the traces, all the footprints, leaving no trace behind.. And at the same time cherishing each moment in heart, because it’s the only place that can’t be seen from outside! Balancing on the verge of a valley, on a unstable footing, just held back with a loose rope… Uncertainty and hopes, certainty and hopelessness all go hand in hand; and we… Such things happen, we cannot help, such things happen when you seek shade under a leafless dry tree..
But who knows, the one seeking shade might me the stream of life.. It will go deep to the roots and keep the stem alive throughout the autumn, till the spring comes… The spring, certainty, hopelessness, uncertainty, immense hopes, and we…