I haven’t written anything since coming back from home; it has been about a week now. Not that I was too busy. In fact, I skipped the office for two days, still it was too stressful. Indeed, I cried alone at nights, and cried until I fall asleep. There were times I wanted to write, and just write it out, but then again I controlled myself–and I didn’t have that much energy to write too–I just was too much tired, of everything!
While coming back from home, I informed master just a couple of hours ago that I’m leaving, and he said “what shall I do now?” That “what shall I do now?” sounded too much like what shall I do now for the rest of my life. I know there was a tone of such. What shall I do now is really a big question!!
Stress was so high that I felt for a moment that I should go asleep and should not awake for the next 73 years at least. I know a psychologist would pass it as a passive suicidal ideation; a major concern on its own for depressed mood. I need to handle myself; and I’m trying to do it, a bit more systemically.
Came back home around 6 p.m., had a bath, watched a bit of My Fair Lady (and Audrey Hepburn looks awesome in the scene where she pronounces “H” correctly for the first time).
Trying to have some lighter moments (afraid they will boomerang back on me)!
N.B. The post title is a song from the movie The Fair Lady. Professor Higgins uses this sentence to polish up Eliza’s accent of vowel “A”. Image from http://www.fabaudrey.com
See Also:
- Can I ever get out of towel? (blogofreflections.wordpress.com)
- My Fair Lady (jpfmovies.wordpress.com)
The Blog of Reflections 
Why are you sad? I’m sorry, I didn’t understand from your post. Do you miss home? Is the job too stressful?
Audrey Hepburn is my favorite actress. From her the name “Miss Audrey” 🙂
Thanks for asking Audrey 🙂 I knowingly didn’t write the reason. The most of it is related to an ill-fitting pair of shoes, you know? And I’m trying to deal with it.
Nice to know about the name “Miss Audrey” 🙂
Ganesha, what I learned from all these years, is you keep on reporting to your job, no matter how much pain you are going through. I feel better going to workplace, meeting my work fellows. the job keep me busy, and there is no time for useless pondering.
now, I m still to figure out what to do, if someone has pain due to the very job itself….
Yeah Mayur, I will take your advice. Regular routine keeps you engaged in things and it often helps 🙂
What shall I do now I ask myself this question everyday and still haven’t found an answer. I don’t think that I ever will. 🙂 So, I tell myself: Just Do! Hang in there. Be happy to have your mental and physical health. Enjoy your youth. Ride the ebb and flow which is life…
Exercise can do wonders for one’s mood too. 🙂