Posts Tagged ‘serenity’

Finding peace in the desert of loneliness

June 16, 2017

​So I was on one of those rants of mine. My wife was on another end of the phone call. I was reciting Ghalib’s poetry, some couplets as I remembered them from memory.

Suddenly out of the blue, I changed the topic and told her, as if I was talking to myself, “Do you know I’m no more sad anymore..? Though I look sad all the time, I’m not. I’ve no regrets.” I started singing, “अजि मी ब्रह्म पाहिले, अजि मी ब्रह्म पाहिले..”

I was again talking to myself. “I’m mostly calm, content. I’m not sorry..” “You know that poem by Faiz?”

“dasht e tanhaai mein, aye jaan-e-jahaan..” 

Faiz is calm here. He stands in the desert of loneliness, still he’s so calm.. and see the beautiful words he uses.. “With so much love, oh sweetheart, your thought has touched my heart.. even though it’s the morning of separation, it feels like the day of separation has just ended, and here’s coming the night of togetherness..”

Even this coming together is not like how honeymooners will jump on each other.. it’s calm, serene.. more like when one dies in the lap of their beloved..

“Why don’t you find such calmness in Ghalib’s poetry?” I asked my wife (though I was actually asking myself). I tried to remember at least one shair by Ghalib where he talks of such serenity. I could recollect none.

I jumped on another poem, one by Sahir. “चंद कलियाँ निशात की चुनकर, मुद्दतों महवे यास रहता हूँ..” Sahir too is not a happy poet. He’s full of his own bitterness. Still he finds these “few moments of happiness”, I couldn’t find those in Ghalib’s poetry. (While I was talking to her about this little poem by Sahir, I was kind of afraid she’ll remember.. I generally refrain from talking about our days of courtship with her. These were the lines written on the first page of the diary wherein I would write so passionately about my longing for her.. I could never tell her of my feelings for her, so one fine day, on the 14th of April, 2006, as we returned from Deekshabhoomi, Nagpur, into my room at a hostel nearby, I handed her my diary and kept looking at her tiny face as she read her own story within it.)

So, cutting it short, I couldn’t remember even one serenely calm shair of Ghalib. Perhaps, he could never get even those few moments.. Do you remember any of his calm shair?

Under the infinite sky when we stand…

April 24, 2016

Under the infinite sky when we stand, with nothing but stars above, and the milky way going across, silence becomes the word of moment.  We feel.  We fill our hearts with the infinite love our Lord has endowed upon us.  We feel, in silence, what we don’t speak in words.  Peace so serene that even an embrace is unasked for.  With hand in hand, we look up into the sky, walking on the milky way with our gazes.

Why does it feel so real? So real to brings tears to our eyes?  Tears of fulfillment?  Tears of joy?  Tears of separation?  What?  The sky is dark, the stars are shining, the breeze is gentle.  When do the desires creep in?  Why does the mist turn so dense like it’s a bar on lungs?  Like we’d choke up with a pang so miserable that our hearts will stop here and now.  A sudden heaviness; a half-tear under the eyelid.  Why?

My Lord knows of my heart.  When we two — the two eternal souls — stand beneath the sky, speaking no word, with hearts leaping with happiness of being found by the other, the good Lord watches awestruck, taking immense joy in the serenity of the moment.

And do we cry? No, we don’t!

Let us fall in love again

November 18, 2011

Let’s go on a walk tonight. It has been long since we felt that great!!

Amidst all the clustered things, we try to make a space for us.
Among all kinds of noises and sounds, we try to find a moment of silence.
Do we get it from somewhere out; or we create it from ourselves?
It’s really hard to get that one, that one moment of serene peace.

Are we the same that we always were?
What’s the thing that really changed?
Nothing, nothing, nothing my dear!!

Let us fall in love again!