Posts Tagged ‘longing’

Of the unknown

June 3, 2013

Nothing is helping. It rained this afternoon. The air has changed suddenly from hot and humid to cool – and romantic. I tried things – played hill racing, read all my timelines, news – ate the stuff I’d bought – sat in the balcony for a while. Everything is making it worse than better.

Na, it’s sure not that simple. It’s something bigger – that I’m afraid to grasp – something deep – something dark! I’ve stopped going to depths lately – all these hot and humid days! I would rather sit the evenings in the balcony, playing hill racing.

But it rained today. The weather has changed suddenly, and for whatever, the hill racing isn’t helping any this evening.

I am missing you a lot

September 20, 2012

Like I had always been looking for you.  Shall I say that?  B’coz I never knew what I was looking for.  I had times when I cried intensely for that something, and still never knew what “that something” was.  I got along with people; I got away; again got along with new ones.  I always felt that loss of something; of something that I have never had.  And then after a while, still a long while ago, I made up my mind that I was looking for myself; this search was to be independent from anyone else.  I made up my mind that something is missing from me and only I can fill that up.  I need to improve myself; I need to find me myself.  I put my short bio on twitter with a shair of Iqbal:

Dhoondhata phirta hoon aye “Iqbal” apne aap ko,
Aap hii goya musaafir aap hi manzil hoo.n main!

I keep wandering, oh Iqbal, in search of my self,
As if I am a traveller and I myself am the destination!

I remember myself crying, and crying until I fell asleep, scribbling this shair, and similar stuff, on a paper.

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