Archive for the ‘कल्पना का सच’ Category

Of shining pearls and a flying peacock

April 15, 2016

Content I am.  With a smile on my face and a glow in my eyes.  That I had just been in a dream. Moments flew on feathery soft wings.

We smiled for no reason but for being happy.  We gleamed.  We shone.  Not like a firefly, nor like a diamond, but like a pearl.  Soft and milky white.

That we rode in parching heat, like it was a breeze of early summer mornings.  That we pulled off the road, so that the time should halt.  That we fell into embraces like how much we belonged there.  That we tasted the nectar like our lips had never tasted love before.

How would it matter what we were? The two eternal souls randomly collided in the complex machinery of existence?  Why would it matter?

That we existed is truth. Like the peacock that flew right above our head and no one else but we two saw it.  If we two had not noticed it, would it mean that the peacock never existed? It did.

Advertisements

Ctrl + Z, Ctrl + Y

August 12, 2013

image

You’re just a step away from me. Just a text message, a phone call, and I’ll be yours – again. I know you are waiting for this to happen; at least, hoping. And in spite of just going ahead, I’m sitting stubborn, holding myself back, fully convinced myself that “Life without you – is possible.”

I know how futile this thought is. Or do I really know? Slowly, I’m really getting convinced that I’m convinced. But what I’m not convinced of is “is it really worth doing?”  “is it not worth undoing?”

Of the unknown

June 3, 2013

Nothing is helping. It rained this afternoon. The air has changed suddenly from hot and humid to cool – and romantic. I tried things – played hill racing, read all my timelines, news – ate the stuff I’d bought – sat in the balcony for a while. Everything is making it worse than better.

Na, it’s sure not that simple. It’s something bigger – that I’m afraid to grasp – something deep – something dark! I’ve stopped going to depths lately – all these hot and humid days! I would rather sit the evenings in the balcony, playing hill racing.

But it rained today. The weather has changed suddenly, and for whatever, the hill racing isn’t helping any this evening.

Just one evening…

May 31, 2013

I am missing you a lot

September 20, 2012

Like I had always been looking for you.  Shall I say that?  B’coz I never knew what I was looking for.  I had times when I cried intensely for that something, and still never knew what “that something” was.  I got along with people; I got away; again got along with new ones.  I always felt that loss of something; of something that I have never had.  And then after a while, still a long while ago, I made up my mind that I was looking for myself; this search was to be independent from anyone else.  I made up my mind that something is missing from me and only I can fill that up.  I need to improve myself; I need to find me myself.  I put my short bio on twitter with a shair of Iqbal:

Dhoondhata phirta hoon aye “Iqbal” apne aap ko,
Aap hii goya musaafir aap hi manzil hoo.n main!

I keep wandering, oh Iqbal, in search of my self,
As if I am a traveller and I myself am the destination!

I remember myself crying, and crying until I fell asleep, scribbling this shair, and similar stuff, on a paper.

(more…)

Tamaso ma jyotir gamaya…

February 16, 2012

Because it will not be forever that the the peace will prevail.  There will be times, as it is now, that I will find myself lost.  You have a plan.  I have a dream, unfortunately, and even more cowardly, as you call it, not a plan.  Some day, suddenly out of a blue, you will put the plan forth, and I, with the extensive burden it would put on me, would succumb.  I should not.

Jesus on Cross at the Grotto of Mother Lourdes, Nagpur

Let your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts.  Psalm 119:173

And aren’t your precepts mine too?

Note:  The post title is taken from a famous Sanskrit prayer from Brihadaranyaka 1:3:27; it means “lead me from darkness to light.”

The Pursuit of Happiness

January 5, 2012

I:  I can’t say it in words.  Gimme a pen.

Zen Master:  I don’t have one.  Tell me, what happened?

I:  I don’t know.

Zen Master:  I hate when you say you don’t know!

(more…)

Enjoying “Chikni Chameli”

December 22, 2011

Okay!  I must change some of my notions about myself.  For example, I am a damn serious guy.  It’s a million dollar question for me to have a simple smile.

Chikni Chameli with her pawwaFor example, it is against my reputation to enjoy popular music.

For example, I prefer reading nonfiction over fiction, and when I read fiction, I cannot read something lower in ranks than Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Kafka, and Camus.

For example, it’s my natural tendency to be sad.  For example, I am emotionally weak and too much labile.

No, I don’t mean that I want to give up whatever I have earned bit by bit to this date.

I want to be like you.  You, who at a moment show me (in practical) the suggestive gestures of Chikni Chameli, and the very next moment, talk to me about the intricacies of emotional status of Tolstoy in between the years of War and Peace and Anna Karenina.

I’m enjoying Chikni Chameli 🙂

Related Posts:

  1. Spiritual songs of A. R. Rahman
  2. Of the dark days of Bollywood music
  3. A musical ride:  A journey from Amir Khusro to A. R. Rahman

Of an eclipse and the moon…

December 10, 2011

It’s a full moon day and we are having a total lunar eclipse this evening.  I noticed the little-less-than-full moon while coming back from office.  I knew about the eclipse, but somehow I thought it would not be visible from India.  So when I saw the moon little less, I thought it must be the 14th day of the month!  But the moon got a little more less.. yes, it was an eclipse!!

The lunar eclipse this eveningIt feels so wonderful to feel that you are watching the same moon that your beloved ones are too.  Kailash called me to tell he is watching the eclipse.  Mayur tweeted he is watching it too!

Don’t know if it was a dream!  We were on a long ride, talking, as usual, of some strangely odd topic (for example, how Mahatma Phule and Savitribai Phule (19th century) adopted an illegitimate son of a young widow) shivering with the December breeze, in a warm hug, and you screamed:  “Look at the moon, it’s wonderful” 🙂

Oh!  It’s December 10, 2011, Saturday night, and I am typing this post, sitting alone at my desktop!

Would you save my soul tonight?

November 19, 2011

It’s a Saturday night.  The nights are getting cold; it’s winter.  My skin is starting to peel off.  I moisturize it; over the face, on the hands, on legs up to the knees.  But it’s starting to peel off where the moisturizer don’t reach often, inside my shirt, on my thighs.  It’s a dry winter.

How easily can you cheat people?  You go to work; you say hi, hello, how are  you; you carry a smile on your face; you make all of it glow–all that shows off!  And you peel from inside, inside your shirt, on your thighs, may be your soul!

It’s a winter!  The chilling blow sucks the moisture out.  You must wrap me all around.  I must deep myself in your love.

P.S. It was a better day 🙂