I would rather not…

I am being too cautious about the topics for my new posts for the last few days. Would my readers like it? Is it worth writing? In this state of mind, I am not writing the things I really want to and instead writing the stuff that I would not write otherwise. For example, I would have written about how I found about the degree confluence project, how Kailash prepared for it and finally reached to the confluence point 23 N 82 E.  Or may be how I fascinated was about the OpenStreetMaps project for a while and how the I came back to Google Maps? Or may be how I got frustrated with the state of things and how I tried to make Yippe noodles for me last evening to keep my mind engaged! And I would certainly not have written about the Osho story I wrote in the last post, I mostly avoid copy paste, and it was merely a translation!!

I like people reading my blog, I like the people subscribing and coming back again, and I appreciate them from my heart. I like to fancy about the number of hits my blog gets, and it’s what keeps me writing, but still it’s the same thing that makes me forget it is a personal blog, it was started to write my heart out, and not to get popular.

Yesterday, I was randomly surfing through WordPress. I searched for the term apathy and stumbled upon a blog post. It was really an honest outburst about things going on in the author’s life. I wished I could be that much honest, though I know it is too difficult, if not impossible, with the name I hold. I was in the office then and had no time to write a full-fledged comment, so I just wrote “too honest!!” The author of the post took my comment completely wrong, rejected it in comment moderation, and instead wrote a new post: “It’s my blog. I would write what I want to, even if it is raw and immature. I don’t care if you find it too honest to read. If it is too honest, don’t read it and don’t comment at all.” Though she took it in a wrong way, she was still honest with her feelings; she told me outright what she felt, may be raw, but straight!!

What the shit I am writing? I am a 27-year-old, a grown up! I must learn to keep a mask on my face!!

P.S. Dear Mayur/Gaurav, I am sure you won’t take it personally. I just wrote it because I was afraid I don’t want it to happen with this blog what happened to my last one.

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6 Responses to “I would rather not…”

  1. Ganesh Dhamodkar Says:

    I didn’t like this post, honestly!

    • Gaurav Tiwari Says:

      I liked it ‘more’ honestly. I am pretty glad that I found you, as a web-pal atleast. Everyone is not the same. You can never think how many bad words I had listened on and after promoting my blog posts on Reddit.com. I’ll tell some of the stories soon. BTW I think you have a wrong defintion of a PERSONAL BLOG. There is a huge difference between a PERSONAL BLOG and a PRIVATE BLOG. Personal means, you’re not going for a business. You are not working for any charity. No one is writting with you and you are everything for the blog.
      First of all be clear about what ‘Blog Of Reflections’ means? Plan yourself for some targets regarding this blog. Love your work. Ignore ‘bad’ people. I love your articles and that’s why I always want to become the first to read, like and comment on it.

      • Ganesh Dhamodkar Says:

        Thanks Gaurav! I knew you won’t take it wrong! And thanks for making me realize the difference between personal and private. This is not a private blog, but a personal account of things happen to me.

        I NEED to write. It is the only way I talk out the things happening in me. I can’t express things in a talk, so I write. As a matter of fact, it was happening for the last few years that I could not write freely because of some personal problems, so I started this blog. You may want to read the first post here (http://wp.me/p1uhDu-5/ ). I wanted to keep it about the things happening in me, so when I could not do it, I felt it bad and thus wrote this post.

        I again want to reiterate I don’t want to make this blog a stereotype, that I would write about this and won’t write about that. Whatever appeals me, I would write about his: And you know, my life revolves around love, life, literature, music, internet, photos, math, philosophy, etc. I won’t go out of this circle; I may want to increase its periphery.

        Thanks once again! And I am happy to find you too 🙂

  2. mayur hulsar Says:

    Dear Ganesh, I read this post the moment you had posted it…. but then I was really confused what should I write in reply. Plus, I m having this frantic 12 hrs shift, so not having proper access. Sometimes its better to leave things untouched and let the time to do its magic.

    I hope you are now out of that down condition and thinking more clearly. Gaurav had already said pretty much the same thing what I wud have said… Your writing flow is good, and one cannot stop till the end. dont worry about if someone is listening or not, but keep on writing. if your stuff is worthy of it, you will eventually draw attention.

    But anyways u know all this stuff. i have already started reading your ghalibana blog…

    heres a link that is interesting for writers, you can check here..


    tk care.

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