I am being too cautious about the topics for my new posts for the last few days. Would my readers like it? Is it worth writing? In this state of mind, I am not writing the things I really want to and instead writing the stuff that I would not write otherwise. For example, I would have written about how I found about the degree confluence project, how Kailash prepared for it and finally reached to the confluence point 23 N 82 E. Or may be how I fascinated was about the OpenStreetMaps project for a while and how the I came back to Google Maps? Or may be how I got frustrated with the state of things and how I tried to make Yippe noodles for me last evening to keep my mind engaged! And I would certainly not have written about the Osho story I wrote in the last post, I mostly avoid copy paste, and it was merely a translation!!
I like people reading my blog, I like the people subscribing and coming back again, and I appreciate them from my heart. I like to fancy about the number of hits my blog gets, and it’s what keeps me writing, but still it’s the same thing that makes me forget it is a personal blog, it was started to write my heart out, and not to get popular.
Yesterday, I was randomly surfing through WordPress. I searched for the term apathy and stumbled upon a blog post. It was really an honest outburst about things going on in the author’s life. I wished I could be that much honest, though I know it is too difficult, if not impossible, with the name I hold. I was in the office then and had no time to write a full-fledged comment, so I just wrote “too honest!!” The author of the post took my comment completely wrong, rejected it in comment moderation, and instead wrote a new post: “It’s my blog. I would write what I want to, even if it is raw and immature. I don’t care if you find it too honest to read. If it is too honest, don’t read it and don’t comment at all.” Though she took it in a wrong way, she was still honest with her feelings; she told me outright what she felt, may be raw, but straight!!
What the shit I am writing? I am a 27-year-old, a grown up! I must learn to keep a mask on my face!!