The search of self: A brief questionnaire

Just had a very interesting talk with Gaurav.  I was sitting a kind of upset, badly wanted to talk with some, and I wished if I could find Gaurav online.  He rarely uses GTalk, so I was kind of uncertain if I can find him there.  I tried Windows Live Messenger, but it didn’t work, so I came back to GTalk, and lo.. He was there.

This was my first chat with him per se (we had had a 2-liner brief chat earlier, but I had abruptly cut it off).  I told him about me and he told about himself, then about our blogs, further plans, and so on…

The most interesting thing of it was a shootout question series by him:

Why do you blog?
To express myself.  I can’t live without writing.

This is absolutely truth.  Why do I blog?  Because I want to write.  I have a long habit of writing.  It started with my writing diary about 13 years ago.  Initially, it was a kind of routine for me, but in 2002 as I came here at Nagpur, life got too much tumultuous.  At the same time, I started to get a lot of leisure time and privacy in hostel.  Fading out of an old love, finding a new one, having breakups, going through its melancholy, getting into a couple of another relationships, again falling into a new one — this material was enough to make me write.  I wrote, and I wrote a lot.  I wrote diaries, poems, ghazals, blogs… Then everything stopped.  I had a long break of about a couple of years.  Ghalibana was an exception in between, but still writing the heart could not happen for long.  So in the earlier part of this year when I found I cannot write diary anymore, I decided to start a new blog and thus started The Blog of Reflections.  So, I write to express myself.  Because I can’t live without writing.

Next question:

Was medical a choice of your heart?
Because I didn’t know what else to do.  I had grown up since childhood listening being a doctor is something great.  Otherwise, I loved math.

Choosing medical field was an simple choice for me, because I never had any other options.  Can you believe I didn’t know till 12th grade what engineers actually are?  I only knew they either build buildings or computers!!  No one ever told me that Pure Sciences can be a great career too.  My parents were not that educated to advice me and I was an ugly duckling for my college professors.  That being said, I enjoyed my work as a physician.  I worked with surgeon for about 2 years, assisted a lot of surgeries on a daily basis, literally assisted in saving lives.  But I was a BAMS (Ayurveda graduate), I knew I can only be an assistant at most, I could never perform the surgery.  I had no intention to pursue my post-graduation in Ayurveda (even the 13,000 p.m. stipend could not allure me).  I didn’t even try to appear for the PG entrance, I had already had enough in my 5-1/2 in graduation.

Third question:

Which quality do you have that’s very special according to you?
I am a good man.

This was my answer without any hesitation, without a second thought.  It is the only reason I am alive, because I know I am a good man.  The day I lose this feeling, I will lose everything else.

So can you say you are unique in some way?
Yes I am, but I am not sure if I can explain it right now. I am unique in a lot many aspects, but still, I am a good man should be enough.

I know I am not one of the flock.  I wish if I could tell how much I long to find someone like me, and I know, it is not an easy job.  That’s the reason I hardly be friend with anyone.  I never understand what to talk with people.  In my 27 years, I could find only a few people who I can say have a part of me in them.  (In fact, I am chatting with Gaurav only because I find something like myself in him).  There are only a few people with whom I feel like myself.  (Don’t frown up, you are in the list by default, take care to keep it free from viruses).

The conversation then turned to be a bit personal; I am not going to publish that part of it (I don’t want to make Gaurav feel awkward telling that he had a broad 🙂 when I answered “Yes” to his “Did you have a girlfriend?”)  Stil, it was a very interesting talk.  Hope we can continue it some time later.

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5 Responses to “The search of self: A brief questionnaire”

  1. Gaurav Tiwari Says:

    I wasn’t surprised, when you said that you had a girlfriend, but became very happy because I felt that you’re enough frank to speak the truth. And trust me, this fact was completely erased from my mind that you’re committed**.
    It was a really interesting talk, to say, your interview. I don’t know how same we are, but I know that we have something common. You haven’t mention about the question:

    Which blogging platform you find [more] interesting? or Blogger? [and why]

    I would love to know why you found WordPress more interesting than Blogger?
    Overall, I really enjoyed talking with you. I’ll try to use GTalk very often. You were brilliant in your answers.

    **Edited by me, sorry Gaurav.

  2. Kailash Mohankar (@kmohankar) Says:

    your blog’s content is really worth read!
    Best of Luck!

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