let me be unhappy…let me be sad!

I am suffering, from don’t know what, and I don’t want you to suffer with me right now…for I want you to be there to handle me…just be there, don’t even look at me, don’t think about me, don’t care at all…because I am yours…even though I am staying away…I’m yours…just want you not to suffer with me this evening, because I want you to be there for me when I will come out of this…on that side of the tunnel…after this long dark blockage…I want you to be there waiting for me…with a smile…but please don’t look at me…just stay away…just don’t care…ignore!

Because I am ashamed of myself…don’t want to look at me at this moment…having a lot of ill feelings…that I would never do…like just go to a bar and drink to death…like just spend this night on some pavement like a homeless…like just go on bitching about people, just maligning the air…this is not the one you love…this is not the one I am…this is someone else that you don’t need to bother about…

You know I’m just wandering in circles…like a dog trying to catch his tail…where are you?…Where are you in this whole world?…just a few miles away or beyond the galaxies…I can see you there…but don’t look at me please…I am ashamed of myself…how can I come in front of you who I revere so much??

I want to pass through this as quick as I can…I know I will be fine and happy after that…but till then…but till that moment when I will see you at the other end of this dark tunnel…let me be unhappy…let me be sad…don’t look at me…don’t think of me…don’t care at all…because this is not the one whom you love…just ashamed of himself…like a dog…trying to catch his own tail…just ignore it!

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