Archive for July, 2011

A Letter to Master

July 31, 2011

Dear Master,

Getting you less on twitter, and nothing at all on mails, calls, etc. It has really been a hard time, I can understand. You must have your reasons not to keep regular contact. I too have been less on twitter for the last few days, I have my own reasons, I understand, you must have yours. We didn’t have a talk in the last few days. I guess our last talk was when we talked about “The Catcher in the Rye” and “The Idiot” and then we came to the conclusion that one cannot be a “well-read” man by reading mere 600-or-so books. It must have been a couple of weeks.

I saw you on Facebook today. You wrote something on the wall of Santosh Tayde. As I saw you there, I thought you must have at least tweeted for me as you were in network for a while. I checked twitter and found nothing to my despair. And I tweeted “:Twitter must not die.” I really think twitter must not die. I don’t mean for Twitter as a social networking, but for the way of indirect contact it provides to us. I have already cleared that I have my own reasons to be a bit away from twitter and you must have yours, but I will be there regularly in a week or so! Hope I won’t miss you there.

Today, I have a special reason to mail you. Something is going on in my mind that I feel I must share with you. You are single and will be marrying to someone most probably the next year. I was thinking about what does marriage really mean to you when you are single? If you just want a girl who can cook for you, wash your clothes, and just be with you for the rest of your life, then it confirms you are a normal man. This is what we do in India. And the girl in turn wants a man who can be with her, provide all her needs, bring a month’s wholesome grocery, and that’s it. But I know this is not the case for you. This is not the case for me!!

I know you are a man of great potential. You have a great understanding of things. Sometimes even I feel awed with what you have. I know you have a constant feeling of incompleteness, and I am afraid if anyone can ever be able to fill it. It is not a simple task to be with you and to take care that you remain alive. It needs the other person to be of at par understanding., and in our society, it is almost an impossible task.

Indian marriages work. You just need a girl who can cook for you, wash your clothes, and be with you, and you in turn give her what she needs–the month’s grocery etc., and the marriage works. It does not take any special efforts. But if you expect something else from marriage, the question becomes dire. When your heart is full of feelings, eager to burst and shower, and you know the one, your life partner, is going to understand nothing of what is filled in you, what can you do in such a case? You just keep yourself calm and damp yourself in it. The worst thing is the knowledge of there is no use to fill full, and slowly and steadily you lose the essence of your being; you do the monthly grocery stuff all your life, just thinking of the poor soul that once used to be you.

This happens often with love marriages. Arranged ones work; they don’t have much out-of-track expectations from life. In contrast, people come together in love marriages, they think they are the best-suited for each others, and hence expectations are high. Once you go some further in your affair, you think of marrying. And why to marry? – because he/she is the person with whom I want to spend all my life. Why? Because we love each other.

I think this is the most fragile explanation. This is the base why the marriage doesn’t work. You don’t have any agenda other than you want to marry each other, and what after marriage? Just love cannot be, and can never be, a bonding factor for all of your life. Unless you get the answer of why we love, why we want to marry, what do we want to achieve with it – every attempt towards it leads to failure.

A very strange example occurred to me – it would be like the rebellion of 1857! You are full of valor, fully devoted for a win, but you don’t know what to do if you win the war at all! The celebrations of a win cannot go for long. You must have some plan and you must have that plan ready before you plunge in war. Another a very strange example, and I accept the rules of nations can’t be applied to human beings, but what happened to Pakistan after independence? The East and West Pakistan were bonded with only a thread of religion. They had nothing common in it. How long could the celebrations of achieving a separate Islamic state keep the both fractions together? About 10 years they took only to create a constitution, and within 24 years of independence, Pakistan got divided and Bangladesh came into existence. Twenty four years is a pretty little time in terms of national history. In case of human beings, it gets still shorter. On the other hand, India constituted her constitution assembly even before independence and the constitution was ready within three years of independence. Even before that, our leaders knew what kind of state they wanted. They had a dream of a social, secular, democratic state that would ensure social, economical, and political justice. They had a plan and they worked on it.

We behave like overenthusiastic rebels at the time of marriage, but fail to look for the goals that we mean to achieve with it, and it leads to a failure. We don’t even get time to realize that it is failed. We engulf in responsibilities, job, children, their education, etc. But one day certainly comes, when everything else is taken care of, we find ourselves almost alone and the same incomplete as we had ever been.

A friend of mine told me a story of a couple who after 40 years of their marriage, when they are retired and the children have gone their way, they had nothing to talk with each other even for four minutes. For forty years, they had talked about career, children, school, medicines, grocery, jewelry, and now when they raise above everything of this, they had nothing to share with each other, and they sought for a divorce after a successful (?) marriage of 40 years.

I am really not sure, where are we heading?

Yours, Ganesh

Smiles and Tears!

July 23, 2011

In a rare status update on Facebook, Master wrote “what is more important in your life, smiles or tears?” I was about to tuck in a comment there, but then it set on a long chain of thoughts. What’s really important, smiles or tears? Of course, this poses a different question than what would you prefer to have in your life. Anyone would prefer to have smiles; smiles making you feel better, smiles making your moments happy, smiles making your life beautiful! But what is really important? Are tears not as important as smiles?

My first response to the question was: “Tears that would later bring a smile!” Tears–crying is really an intense feeling, much more intense than smile. A smile comes and goes; tears come and stay with us for long. Smile makes you feel better, making you feel free; tears roll down, take you deep, to the depths of your heart! But you can’t live with tears all your life. Smile comes and goes on itself, you need to stop crying.

But what life would be without tears too? Let your tears roll down for whom your eyes smile!! Let your heart weep in corner with whom it smiles to itself in solitude!! What is the life if you pass through it without ever shading tears for someone dearest?

Smile and tears are indispensible! They keep your life from going monotonous!! A true smile as well as a genuine cry both are signs of a little innocent heart that keeps you alive and lively.

Mumbai Blasts: Some Obervations

July 14, 2011

Mumbai, the economic capital of India, shook with terror last evening with a series of near-simultaneous bomb attacks. I got this news on my twitter as a retweet by Omar Abdullah (@Abdullah_Omar) immediately after the second blast, when even the news media websites did not have any report. Till now, the death toll has reached to 20+ and my heart goes with the family who have lost some near and dear ones in those blasts.

But I intend to write about some of my observations on the social behavior of people during such time of crisis. People tweeted, and twitter was far ahead of any other social networking, and Facebook for that matter. People tweeted spreading the news, asking help, offering help, and retweeting the helpline numbers. Twitter was flooded with the hashtags, #MumbaiBlasts, #Happy2help, #EmergencyNumbers, etc. For example, some Tejas Tamhane tweeted just minutes after the blast, from Opera House, the venue of one of the blasts, “Anyone going towards Andhrei? Can you pick me from Opera House? #mumbaiblasts.” There were a lot of tweets offering help, as this one by some Dina, “Anyone stranded in Dadar west – contact me” with her phone number. Celebrities like Priyanka Chopra who has a large following base tweeted the police control room numbers etc.

Another kind of behavior I noted was of people who were out there just to create chaos. As Javed Akhtar (@Javedakhtarjadu) tweeted “The death toll has reached 21. What kind of animals commit such heinous acts?”, these stupid were prompt to suggest him that they were from his own fraternity, Islam. These people with apparently fundamentalist mentality were cheap enough to use bad words and **** for the whole Muslim community, and much more for the secular Indians, the prime minister, home minister, UPA chairperson, and Rahul Gandhi (e.g. using the terms naagin and sapola for Sonia and Rahul Gandhi respectively and using **** words for the Prime Minister of India). I too get one such reply on twitter all filled with F*** and Madar*** kind of words for just suggesting Javed Akhtar to ignore such comments.

Lastly, there was a rumor on all the social networks about it being the birthday of Ajmal Kasab (the only terrorist caught alive from the 26/11 Mumbai attacks) suggesting the link to the choice of date for the blasts (though this date is disputed, BBC and IBN Live suggesting it to be September 13. The Wikipedia article on Kasab underwent several edits just after the blasts and Kasab’s DOB was changed from September 13 to July 13). Many were expressing concerns over why he is still alive and why he was not shoot at the same time of the blasts. This is really a naïve question. Nine of his companions were killed in the police action. It was necessary to catch at least one of them alive and put him through the actual judicial process to let the world know who were the actual perpetrators of those attacks. Kasab’s case in the court has made many things clear. It was necessary to put those facts in front of the international community beyond doubt. Had Kasab been died in direct action, we would have only circumstantial evidences to prove he was a Pakistani. In court, he himself claimed this.

Finally, let’s pray for the families suffered. Their losses are immense, but may God bless them with courage to deal with it, and hope the government bring the culprits to justice soon.

Because you Love!

July 3, 2011

You… A Giant Tree at Hanuman Mandir, Laxminagar, Nagpur

You – grew such huge in a random giant – and she – tries to keep you tied – with a feeble thread!

 

Temple at Reshimbag NIT Garden

You – on a homeless Sunday afternoon – slept here – on a municipality bench!

 A Tree at NIT Garden Reshimbag

You – and this friend made your life a bit comfortable – shielding you from the Nagpur heat!

You – oh dear friend – how can you cover me all from in this heat!  And how can I just say thank you and get away?

 The Way to Grotto of the Lady of Lourdes, Nagpur.

You – made me dream – this road – leads to God!

A scene at Grotto, Nagpur

You – Oh dear – reflect me in your heart – to make me more beautiful.

Greenary at Grotto, Nagpur

You – made me realize – this is called life!

Jesus on Cross at Grotto, Nagpur.

You – Oh my love – you must suffer on the cross – and must be crowned – because you love!

A Random Evening at Reshimbag Ground

July 2, 2011

I want to write something today! Write just something that would fill a complete page, because a full-page transcript looks good! I have no other reason to write, why should I kill time in such a nasty job? This is a Saturday night, a night before a long-awaited weekly holiday, and I can get good sleep tonight without thinking a damn about getting up tomorrow morning!

Yes, so as Ernest Hemingway advised, keep the first paragraph small–going good! Shall I fill this page with spaces? It won’t look good. I want to write, and write a complete page, because it looks good!

So as I was on the Reshimbag Ground, the lawn was nice, lush green! What irritated me were the red ants crawling everywhere! It seemed they are irritating even in my ears, like I’m a giant elephant with huge broad ears and a silly ant irritating me.

An Evening at Reshimbag Ground

People are just people, we can’t blame them for being so, but I was happy. Why should I think about the two guys sitting next to me who were smoking? And an uncle there was training his wife to ride a Scooty. It was a nice evening and I had a nice time there.

Did you find me out of stream? Out of flow? Writing just for the sake of writing? Because I am so! Or shall I write about the last night, which I spent almost homeless?

Okay! I should write nothing and go to sleep! This is Saturday night, tomorrow is Sunday!

let me be unhappy…let me be sad!

July 1, 2011

I am suffering, from don’t know what, and I don’t want you to suffer with me right now…for I want you to be there to handle me…just be there, don’t even look at me, don’t think about me, don’t care at all…because I am yours…even though I am staying away…I’m yours…just want you not to suffer with me this evening, because I want you to be there for me when I will come out of this…on that side of the tunnel…after this long dark blockage…I want you to be there waiting for me…with a smile…but please don’t look at me…just stay away…just don’t care…ignore!

Because I am ashamed of myself…don’t want to look at me at this moment…having a lot of ill feelings…that I would never do…like just go to a bar and drink to death…like just spend this night on some pavement like a homeless…like just go on bitching about people, just maligning the air…this is not the one you love…this is not the one I am…this is someone else that you don’t need to bother about…

You know I’m just wandering in circles…like a dog trying to catch his tail…where are you?…Where are you in this whole world?…just a few miles away or beyond the galaxies…I can see you there…but don’t look at me please…I am ashamed of myself…how can I come in front of you who I revere so much??

I want to pass through this as quick as I can…I know I will be fine and happy after that…but till then…but till that moment when I will see you at the other end of this dark tunnel…let me be unhappy…let me be sad…don’t look at me…don’t think of me…don’t care at all…because this is not the one whom you love…just ashamed of himself…like a dog…trying to catch his own tail…just ignore it!


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