I need to write a diary

March 13, 2014

Blogging cannot replace diary writing.  A lot of things happen.  Not everything can go on a blog.

Writing diary had been my hobby for a long time, then I stopped writing – with pen on paper.  Pen on paper will still be difficult, but I can certainly start writing on computer.

So what should I do?  Shall I write on Evernote? Or start a new private blog? Or find kind of a diary app?  One way is to write in MS Word, but then it becomes to messy to manage, a lot of doc files and sorting gets an issue.

Can you suggest something?

It’s new!

March 11, 2014

It has been ages since I’ve blogged. A status update here and there does not mean a blog, not at least for a serious blogger (what does a serious blogger mean anyways?)

So.. It has been about 15 months since I’ve been away from home, consequently away from my computer, and I didn’t have a laptop to stay connected.  So all my online activity these days constituted of tweeting things, and my tweet count has stirred up to about 10,000, but my blogging frequency steeped down, so much that I don’t remember what was the last full post I had written.

Now, there is a reason to hope that it would be different.  I bought a laptop this past weekend and got a wireless internet for it.  The first thing I did today was downloaded Windows Live Writer on my laptop, and now I am all set, with all the paraphernalia it needs. So you can expect me to be more frequent here and I hope you’ll find it interesting what I would write.

This much is enough for today, and expect me back soon!

What is life?

February 4, 2014

How seriously one should take their life? This question should come later. First, what life really is? For years, I thought my life is reading. I haven’t really read much in months. My life is still going. Meanwhile, I thought maybe it’s knowing new things. Reading was just a way ot it. Then there came a thought, maybe it’s sharing of the new things we know. The question is not solved.

I’ve stopped writing too, and even more, writing my diary. Am I such afraid of my own life? <<break>>

My writing is so haphazard. Such is my life. See you!

A shair for me

December 29, 2013

Of living without her..

December 23, 2013

Dear X,

It’s such a lonely evening. Just returned from work. Stayed there late after hours – just to shorten this period of loneliness. But now that I’m back to my room and writing this – I think I needed some time for myself – to lean back and ponder over what’s really happening…

Something is badly missing from life. Perhaps, it’s just a change of habit. I’m really not missing you, but it feels like I’m missing a life since we broke up..

P.S. …, nothing!

Short letter to X

December 17, 2013

Dear X,

One shair of Ghalib for me, rather just one line of it. “ Aashiqui sabr_talab aur tamanna betaab..” Love asks for patience, and desires are uncontrollable. What shall I do of my heart until it ends all?

thinking of you,


Mr. Shashi Tharoor retweeted me!

November 28, 2013

Of nothingness…

November 24, 2013

There is a certain nothingness for which I exist.  I know this is too vague of a statement, but I am doing vague things and living vague moments and have stopped dreaming of a vague future.  I am catching up on things – not people.

Dreams needed to be curtailed – I did that. Why should one dream of life when one can dream of a big home (with lavish furniture in it), etc.? I have somehow convinced myself.  I can somehow manage to not miss you – not now, and not a few years later.

You remember? One of our very first coffee shop meets when we had met after my office hours – those comfy sofas, pleasant ambiance, some cricket match on TV, you – and I had told you “This is peace.”  Now I have learned that that peace was not because of something “out of this world”, but it can certainly be recreated with the same sofas etc., isn’t it?

I will manage it somehow! You know “a man at 30 should know himself like a palm of his own hand etc.” I am going to be 30 soon.  I cannot keep things pending.  I must lose you if I cannot achieve you – and convince myself it is for better.

Reading campaign for myself (and for those interested)

November 13, 2013

  • Read at least five novels before a fixed date, say my birthday, July 14th.
  • Decide the novels in advance, before you start the first one. No bar on language. You can select from the ones you’re thinking to read for long, but couldn’t start somehow. Get the list ready before you start actual reading.
  • Obtain the books. Find some library, or buy them. Buying is easier than borrowing. You need not buy all five at once.
  • Read.
  • See that you complete the target, and enjoy it.
  • Set a higher target for next campaign.

Of a home that is no more…

October 30, 2013

Diwali this weekend. One is supposed to go home for Diwali. I do have a home – a real home with doors wide open. But I’m worried for people – those for whom home is me – and I am closed.

How bad a Diwali can be? Like a Diwali when your own home is closed for you and you have no option but to sit out shattered – and with no energy left to bang the door. How shall one console a little soul? How shall one – for example – tell a little heart that Diwali is something different – lights, lamps, pooja, crackers, happiness, papa!

But this will be such. I will steal eyes. You will hide face. Because people will ask why we are not at home. It’s not that I don’t understand your pain. I do, but I will still be stubborn.

There is no cure to me. There is no cure to us – to our home – that is no more.


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